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Finding a therapist can be daunting. It feels important to find the right person, but because therapy is a private matter and therapists are bound by confidentiality, you won’t find the same kind of reviews and testimonials as you find with restaurants or movies. So how do you find a therapist that is right for you? I’ll offer the advice that has been shared with me by more than one professional and which has worked well for many I’ve assisted with the process.
The first step is to identify what is important to you as you look for someone. For some people, it’s most important to be close to home. Others care more about finding someone with a specific expertise or a strong reputation. Many people will have some preferences about the therapist’s personal characteristics such as ethnicity or gender identity. Personally, I tend to value expertise and overall competence highly. You’ll also want to consider your budget and whether you’ll use your insurance.
With a sense of your priorities, you can begin putting together a list of a few therapists who seem like they could be a good fit. If you are comfortable, you can ask people you trust for recommendations. Maybe a close friend, your doctor, or someone you know who works in the field. Another option is to use internet resources (e.g. search engines, Psychology Today’s therapist finder, GoodTherapy, social media, etc.). Your employer or school may also offer counseling services to consider. You’ll search and browse through these resources with terms that match your priority — ‘low cost therapy’ or ‘therapists near Kirkwood’ or ‘Korean-speaking therapists’ and so on. As you browse through your options, take a look at websites and profiles and see which stand out. By using your resources and reading through what therapists have to say about themselves, you can generate a short list of some people who at least seem promising. (If you’ve struggled to find anyone promising at this stage, you may need to go back to the first step and tweak some parameters, widen the search geographically, or adjust your budget.)
Next, it is time to reach out to the candidate therapists. Phone is usually the best way both for privacy reasons and so you can get a sense of the therapist’s personality. Many therapists offer free phone consultations of 10 minutes or so. You can also use contact forms on therapists’ websites or email the therapists (though email is not a secure method of communication). Be prepared not to hear back from some of the therapists, unfortunately. It is not personal, but some therapists are just not great at returning all calls, especially therapists who are full.
When you do talk to the therapist, feel free to ask them questions. Whatever you are curious about, you probably aren’t the first person. A question I’d recommend is to ask how often they have worked with people like you who were dealing with your issue. If you get a good enough vibe from your interaction, you can schedule a first appointment and get underway. Otherwise, you may want to shop around a bit more.
Once you meet with the therapist for an initial session, you may get an impression in the first meeting about the fit or the lack of fit. However, it is not uncommon for things to take a few meetings to gel. A good therapist will be open to discussing fit and potential issues – even better, many of us will actively invite that conversation. If after a few sessions, things are clicking well and they satisfy your priority criteria, you have found someone that may be right for you.
But there’s one more step! Keep evaluating the therapy process and the relationship with your therapist as you work together. Discuss it with them as you go. If over time you are not making adequate progress toward the goals you had for going to therapy, then it may be time to consider if someone else would be a better fit. Again, a good therapist is more than okay with having that conversation and will even help with providing referrals.
Finally, even if you have found your perfect therapist, your needs will naturally evolve over time along with your goals and your circumstances. Your therapist may still be right for you, or you may decide to change things up. That’s when you go back to the start!
If you’ve read this because you are in the process of trying to find a therapist, you may want to take a look around my site to see if I am a potential fit. If you like what you see there, I would invite you to contact me to discuss further. Even if I turn out not to be the right fit for you, I can probably refer you to some other good options to consider.
(Disagree with any of this? Something to add? Share your thoughts below or drop me a note. I may add or edit your thoughts in if it will make for a more accurate or useful post.)